


Checking In With Val Velocity

by Rocknoutfrthdead



Category: Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys - My Chemical Romance (Album), My Chemical Romance, The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys (Comic)
Genre: A little angst, Gen, I'm Sorry, Just for giggles, The Fabulous Killjoys (Danger Days) Are Not MCR, afterlife!killjoys, not really tho, probably the stupidest thing i've ever written
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-27
Updated: 2020-03-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:01:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23337310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rocknoutfrthdead/pseuds/Rocknoutfrthdead
Summary: This was inspired by my friend @xxpastelemomomxx on tumblr dot com. it was a really dumb idea but I decided to write it so yeah, here we are.Basically, the Fab 4 are dead and doing their thing in the afterlife, untilsomeonedecides to do some stupid shit and they gotta deal with him.Oh yeah btw there's a ton of cursing in this so don't read if you don't like that.
Relationships: Agent Cherri Cola/Kobra Kid (Danger Days), Fun Ghoul/Party Poison (Danger Days)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 49





	Checking In With Val Velocity

Being dead was pretty chill.

Sure, at first Poison had been annoyed that they’d died like a cockroach, being the first of their crew to go down, but after a few months of wandering the afterlife, getting to hang out with their brother, boyfriend, and best friend, things got better. The Phoenix Witch didn’t bother them much, in the realm she called the “Beyond”, and the four basically had free reign of a beautiful, lush landscape. For the first year or so, they spent their time exploring, staring in wonderment at the towering trees, golden coastlines, and strange creatures.

It hadn’t been until a couple years passed that the Witch had let them see down into the old world. Jet had gotten angry at her. “Why would you keep this from us? We could’ve checked up on our friends all this time?”

The Witch had shook her head. “You kids needed time to heal, Jet Star. And look how happy you are now! If I’d shown you the Window, do you think you ever would’ve adjusted?”

The Witch was right, she always was, but Jet had simply breezed past her to the Window where they could see whatever person in the old world that they wanted to. “Show us the Girl!” Jet yelled, and the Window obeyed, changing from a plain static grey to a full color image of the Desert at night. The sky was smoggy, and you could barely make out a few faint stars in the dark. On the dusty ground lay a collection of white body bags, all with BLI stamped on the front. 

“She’s dead?” Ghoul yelled, his face incredulous. “But I thought she was supposed to free the City! How can she be dead if-”

Jet cut him off. “You’re an idiot, Ghoulie. She’s sleepin’ in one of the bags, see?”

And now that Poison looked closer, they could see that there was a single body that lay unbagged, a mistake Better Living would never make. One of the bags nearby seemed to be covering a much smaller body than it was made for. Poison grinned. “Clever girlie. She made sure Better Living would never catch ‘er sleeping.”

Kobra looked worried. “Where’s Cola? And Dr. D, and the others? Shouldn’t she be with them? And wouldn’t we know if they got ghosted?”

“Show us Dr. Death-Defying,” Jet commanded, and the screen zoomed out and re-focused on the inside of D’s studio, where the man sat in his wheelchair, reading out some ad over the midnight static. Beside him, Cherri Cola was slumped over, asleep.  
“Oh, Cola…” Kobra whispered, and Poison realized with a jolt to their spine that Cola had a tattered red bandana tied around his forearm. The same red bandana Kobra had given to Cola when the two had first started going out. 

“Hey, Kobes, it’s alright. He’s doing alright.” Poison said, bumping their brother’s shoulder. Kobra swallowed, and sighed.

“I just wish I could let him know I was okay, ya know? I wish he could know that I’m watching him.” 

Poison nodded, but said nothing. That was the predicament of being dead, they supposed: you want to be with the people you loved, but you also want your loved ones to live on beyond your end. How do you comfort someone when they can’t be with one of those loved ones? They didn’t know. 

Time passed in the afterlife like a thick soup. Weeks could go by without Poison checking up on their old crew, and then they’d suddenly feel guilty and spend a few days practically living next to the Window. Not much happened down there: the killjoys increased in number, Better Living sent out more patrols, kids and Dracs died in the desert with their masks on and their guns blazing. 

Poison got bored, and went wandering into the misty edges of the afterlife, to discover new land and meet other deceased souls. They spent time with their gang, laughing and coming up with more and more disastrous outfits to wear around the afterlife until the Witch threatened to throw their souls out. They got to have real dates with Ghoul, and eventually got to marry him, although marriage in the afterlife was very different from marriage in the desert. They harassed the Witch and followed her around until she finally granted the Four the ability to fly, for only a day. They comforted Kobra when he cried over how much he missed Cola, they viciously interrogated every single person who Jet dated, and through it all they watched the Girl as she grew and continued to survive. 

One day, as Poison was attempting to climb a very tall tree to get their cat down from the upper limbs, Jet came running. “Poison! Poison! You have to come, quick.”

“I’m a little busy here, Jet!” they yelled. “What is it?”

“Remember that kid, Val Velocity, who the Girl was runnin’ with? Well, he’s done something… questionable, and-”

Poison jumped straight down from their perch in the tree, landing softly and not breaking all their bones because it was the afterlife, and said, “Did he hurt the girl? Because if so, that kid should get ready to pay, Phoenix Witch be damned.”

“No, don’t worry Poison, he didn’t hurt the girl, it’s just well- it’s better if you just come with me. I’ll show you.”

Poison followed Jet to the Window, where Ghoul was already sitting. “Oh good, you got them. Party, come look at what this kid did, it’s hilarious.”

“Show us Val Velocity, twenty minutes ago,” Ghoul said, and the screen flickered and jumped to a broken-down motel, where Val Velocity and his so-called ‘Ultra V’s” were hanging out. Poison recognized the pink-haired and teal-haired siblings Vaya and Vamos, as well as the tall pinstripe dude called Volume, and then there was Val. Who’s hair was no longer his traditional white, but the bright red that was Poison’s signature look. “Wait, listen to this, it’s ridiculous,” Ghoul said. 

“I’m gonna show everyone how things should be done and they’ll forget Poison ever existed. When they see red, they’ll think of Val Velocity. I’m taking his color.”

“Excuse me, what did he just say?” Poison said indignantly. 

“He said he’s takin’ your color,” Ghoul said helpfully, and Poison smacked their husband’s head gently. “I know what he said, Ghoulie. I was being rhetorical.” 

“You mean dramatic,” Ghoul said, rolling his eyes. 

“But seriously, this kid’s whack. He thinks he can just ‘take’ my color? The audacity. We oughta teach him a lesson.”

Jet sighed. “I understand that you’re mad, Poison, but there’s no way for us to-”

Ghoul cut him off. “Actually, I think there might be a way for us to get down there. We just need to make sure the Witch doesn’t see us.”

Poison grinned. “You know how you were telling me you didn’t know what to get me for our anniversary? This can be that gift.”

Ghoul beamed back at them, and Poison could see their own mischief reflected in his eyes.  
“Okay, if you’re gonna blatantly ignore all of the Witch’s rules, we might as well make it a group trip. I’ll go get Kobra,” Jet said, trying to look exasperated, but Poison could tell that he was secretly just as excited to annoy Val Velocity as Ghoul and Poison were.

Once Kobra had been summoned, Ghoul led them all around a corner and down a dark hallway splattered with graffiti. They were spit out on the edge of the Desert. “The Ultra V’s should be around here somewhere,” Ghoul said, and sure enough, there they were, Vaya, Vamos, and Vinyl sitting around the fire while sat further away, looking into the distance. “Let's sort out this punk,” Poison said, skittering around the fire and towards Val Velocity.

Val didn’t even notice the Four until Poison grabbed him by the front of his shirt and growled, “Remember me, bitch?”

Val shrieked. “Poison? But I thought you were- didn’t you die?”

“Yeah I died, idiot. But then some crash queen decided to ‘steal my color’, so I had to come intervene. Do you not understand how colors work? You can’t own one, dipshit.” 

Val stared at Poison, speechless. “B-but I- well, what I meant was- I-” Kobra shook his head. “You’re an idiot, Velocity. And my sibling’s too high and mighty to give you what you deserve, so that’s my job.”

“Wh-what?” Val said. Kobra grinned, and then punched Val in the face. The red-haired killjoy hissed in pain. “Didn’t know dead guys could punch, smartass?” Ghoul taunted. 

“Shut up, Fun Ghoul. You never did anything but look pretty on Poison’s arm,” Val spit, glaring at Ghoul.

“No one talks to my husband like that,” Party growled, and they punched Val in the face. “Damn!” Kobra whooped, grinning. “I did not think you were gonna actually deck ‘im, Poison.” 

Poison glared coolly at Val. “You should feel lucky, you pathetic excuse for a killjoy. Usually when people insult Ghoulie, I kill ‘em.”

“Aw, thanks babe. Love you too,” Ghoul said, grinning at Poison.

It seemed like Val’s scared screaming had summoned Vaya and Vamos, who stood staring in awe. “Are you the Fab Four?” Vaya asked, eyes wide.  
“You bet we are, Vaya,” Poison said, and the kid’s eyes widened even more. “You know my name? How?”

Poison wiggled their eyebrows. “I won’t tell.”

Vamos raised their hand. “Yeah, Vamos?” Poison said, feeling a little bad for how flustered they’d made these kids.

“Can you guys help us fight the City? I mean, once Better Living hears the Four are back, they’ll be so scared they might just give up.”

Val snorted in indignation. “We don’t need them, Vamos. We’re the Ultra V’s.”

“I’m afraid I’m gonna have to agree with the imposter on this one,” Poison said. 

“You aren’t gonna help us?” Vaya exclaimed. 

“Nah, y’all are on your own for this one. We only came down to beat the shit out of this loser. Speaking of which,” Jet said, and then threw a punch at Val’s stomach, slamming the leader back with a loud “oof”. “Jeez, I didn’t even punch ya that hard, Velocity. Get stronger and maybe then you’ll look more like Poison,” he said with a smug grin. 

“Are you sure you don’t wanna help us? We’ll let you be the leader,” Vaya said, their eyes pleading. 

“Nah fam, we’re good,” Poison said, throwing up a peace sign. “The Witch’ll get mad at us if we stay down here much longer, anyway.”

And with that, the Four disappeared into thin air, leaving Val Velocity’s bruised face as the only proof they’d ever appeared in the first place.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading whatever that was. I'm considering making afterlife killjoys a series or collection of ficlets, so let me know if you'd like that. I wrote this in one evening so apologies if it's not quite up to my usual standards, I needed a break from how serious the Nuclear Spectrum is.


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